On Monday last week (August 22), Nick's cousin Cody, and his sweet wife Melissa, found out that their baby had died in utero at 31 weeks. They went in to the hospital on Wednesday August 24 to induce labor. That was an extremely emotional day for me as I KNOW it was emotional for them as well. Mackenzie Eva Kunz was born asleep on August 24, 2010 weighing only 2 lbs 1 oz. She looked perfect in every way and so peaceful. (Thank you Arah for the picture)
I was in basically their same position nearly 9 years ago and even though I thought I had complete control over my feelings after all this time, hearing that they were going to have a stillborn just like I did, brought all those memories and feelings back to the surface for me again! When Nick came home from work that night he arrived to a sullen, blubbering wife. My heart literally aches for Cody and Melissa. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy...let alone another family member.
The funeral for Mackenzie is today.
I remember Christian's funeral as being almost harder than giving birth to him...it was hard seeing the teeny tiny casket and knowing that my baby boy was in there. And then knowing that he was going to be put in the ground and I would never see him in this life again. I would never be able to hold him, love him, cuddle him, kiss his chubby cheeks, or watch him grow up. I remember feeling extreme heartache, physical pain, frustration, grief, sadness--and an overwhelming feeling of just wanting to run away. I couldn't imagine that this was my life....how could this happen to me??? How could my first born baby be taken from me???
I haven't had a chance to get to know Melissa well, since they live in Spokane, but it's amazing how I can suddenly feel so connected to her after her loss. A loss we both have in common. A loss that neither of us ever wanted....and one I know neither of us wish we had had.
My thoughts are with Cody, Melissa, Arah, Matt, and all the extended family that has been affected by this today. My heart aches for your loss, as it does my own....we'll forever be connected by this.
*the Kunz family as a whole has had three babies die.
Christian Nicholas Call August 30, 2001 stillborn
Olivia Kamille Kunz November 11, 2007-November 11, 2007
Mackenzie Eva Kunz August 24, 2010 stillborn
2 comments:
We also have huge sadness today for you and for the loss of Christian....but are so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the promises that we can be together forever. I'm sure Christian is showing the other cousins "the ropes" in Heaven, acting as big-cousin. Love and hugs. mom
Christian is looking down on all of us and seeing how loved he is. By his mom, dad, brother and sister, by his aunts, uncles and cousins and by extended family and friends. We are here for you always. Lots of hugs to you and the fam.
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